Sunday, December 6, 2009

Six degrees of separation? How about one?

For some people, both inside and outside of Israel, it is oftentimes incomprehensible to grasp just how tiny this place is. Here are some population stats to help you understand just what I mean:

Total population of the State of Israel: 7.375 Million
Total population of the District of Jerusalem: 910,300
Total population of the District of Tel Aviv: 1.227 Million
Source: Israel Central Bureau of Statistics, September 2009.

Now compare it to this:

Total population of the State of New Jersey: 8.683 Million
Total population of the County of Los Angeles: 9.862 Million
Total population of the City of New York: 8.214 Million
Source: United States Census Bureau, 2006 Estimates.

So, to help put it into perspective, Israel is smaller (population-wise) than Los Angeles, New York and New Jersey. This means there is a huge chance of knowing people that other people you know also know, because after all, a country like this can be like a big village. Jerusalem feels like an even smaller bubble to me. If you think about it, though, it makes sense why: the sectors of Jerusalem can be very easily dissected. Within the Jewish population of Jerusalem, you have those that are ultra-orthodox, the observant population, and the more-or-less heathenish population. I fall into the latter. Then you can further subdivide those into those of English-speaking backgrounds, or just not Israeli by birth, and then the thoroughbred Israelis. For the most part, although it is quite annoying, the way it works is that you hang out with people of your own kind. The result is that I end up getting to know a very specific type of Israeli, or in other words, the new Israeli who shares a similar story to mine. So, considering you are pigeonholed into your population, it is quickly uncovered that if you know two people (I even know 10!), then it is not surprising that you both know a thrid person in common, even if you had no idea they knew each other. It is a very small world. (A whole other topic is when it turns out that you know one person in Israel who also knows someone from abroad that you also know - my roommate last year was the best man at my mom's best friend's niece's wedding. Imagine that!)

Sometimes it seems like everyone is Israel knows each other. There are very concrete aspects of the life of every Israeli that allows for people here to get to know people from outside their city. For example, many Israeli children partake in some sort of quasi-political youth group. Through these youth groups, they get to know people from all over the country, and then what do you know, when they go off to the Army for their mandatory service, they may realize that their bunk-mate in basic training is actually the best friend of the next door neighbor of their friend form their youth group. It's pretty common when you are out with an Israeli that either they run into somebody they know from their past, or that they start naming people they know until they know someone in common. I remember when we used to do this in College with people from other schools until you realized you both know someone. Maybe Ivy League geography is like Israeli geography?

However, Israel is also a complicated country, not just a small one. I'm not even talking about the conflict here, but more about they way they run the show here. There is this concept here called "protexia," or "Vitamin P." This means that you know someone on the "inside" who can help you. You can have protexia at the Bank, the phone company, the University, the Tax Bureau, you get the point. In this country, there is an unusual amount of paperwork and it oftentimes will simply just sit on some bureaucrat's desk (a la Soviet Union) until s/he feels like stamping it and sending it to the next desk. At the bank, for example, your ATM card may get "lost" on its way to you, but if you just happen to know the branch manager, the ATM card will get to you.

This is also where Israel being a small place is helpful. It's almost as if it was done on purpose that things do not move as efficiently as they could, because either way, you will know someone who can help you. So, what is the point to my story, you ask? Well I will tell you.

Due to my age and my sex, I have to go to Army for a short service. At 24, the only obligation is six months, I say "only" because had I been 18, I would have had to serve three years. So, there really is quite a difference. Also, I will not have to do anything combat-related because there is not enough time given the length of my service where they could train me, so it should be a relatively easy, breezy service. If I could only get my draft date and latter, that is... Since I have yet to get my letter explaining what date I have to report for basic service, I cannot really get my life going here because I can't find a real job if I have to leave after a few weeks for six months. (Meanwhile, however, I spend my afternoons making fresh salsa and gazpacho with the best tomatoes in the world and making Hebrew vocabulary flashcards, so things seem to be getting dire!) It was looking as if I desperately needed "protexia" (sort of like the English word "protection") inside the Military machine in order to know when they were going to draft me. On Friday, I was explaining this situation to a close family friend of ours in Tel Aviv over a delicious (?) cup of instant coffee (again, ?). He asked how I was not frustrated with all this uncertainty, because he kept reminding me, "you don't have any dates." I began to have these visions of me being 38 and still waiting for my draft letter and living off "savings," although these are rapidly dwindling. So, then, he said, "why don't we just call my friend?" He explained his friend (a woman) "knows" people in the Army.

We dialed her number and the sweetest most reassuring voice answered the phone. I explained my story to her and then my family friend took the phone and explained that I was a (really cool) guy trying to get started in this "crazy country." She said she would help, told me to phone her on Sunday (like Monday here), and that she would be "with me to the end!" But, I still had no idea who I had talked to. Well, it turns out I had talked to one of Israel's most famous journalists and the correspondent people turn to for any military news. It's like I talked to Katie Couric and explained to her some situation and then said, "So you can help me? You know someone?" We are now on a first name and SMS-text basis.

She called me back a third time after having scheduled a meeting for me at the Jerusalem Recruitment Office ("Tell them you are my friend and you should be fine!" she reminded me.) and said, "Alberto, do I have a girl for you, she is beautiful and has long black hair..."